Harsh Versus Firm: How We Injury Ourselves

“We are our harshest critic”
Bet you’ve heard that before, and for many it’s true.
To grow as a person requires discipline and coming from an ex-military guy, many would think ‘oh he’s all over that’. It couldn’t be further from the truth, just ask Kirsty 🙂 Matter of fact many people transitioning from a rigidly routined environment into something far more flexible like self employment struggle with self discipline because they’ve operated for so long in an ‘imposed discipline’ environment.
Personal growth requires self awareness or reflection. Initially people can get caught in self flagellation leading to a decrease in self esteem and confidence. This is because of the harshness they use in the judgement of themselves.

I personally used to have a PhD in being my own harshest critic, which funnily enough is linked to being your own worst enemy. Just listen to the word when you say it “harsh”. It leaves an abrasiveness on your tongue. And it does so on your psyche as well.
The trick is to become friends with it’s better side – firmness. Say this word “Firmness”. It has an undercurrent of strength; of solidity. Being firm with yourself breeds accountability and self discipline. It gives you something to bounce off, or grow from. It calls the issue for what it is but doesn’t slander you for it. It’s the conversation inside that goes: “okay, that didn’t go how I planned it and I know I can do better if I take heed of these lessons, so tomorrow bring on another opportunity!”
Harshness is linked to guilt and shame: Firmness to courage, compassion and empathy.